7 members
BLACK HOLE BANDITZ / BLAKHOL
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Freelancing -
Piracy
Tired of playing by the rules? Sick of hauling legitimate cargo for measly credits while the fat cats get fatter? Well, polish your helmet and grab your lucky dice, because the Black Hole Banditz are looking for daring pilots ready to dive into the darker side of space enterprise!
History
Our Humble Beginnings
Legend has it that the Black Hole Banditz began when a group of “misunderstood entrepreneurs” accidentally stumbled upon an unmarked cargo ship in 2947. The founder, Captain “Honest” Jack Spaceworth, claimed he was merely “helping to redistribute” some misplaced quantum fuel when his ship’s navigation system “malfunctioned” into the cargo hold.
The Great Cargo “Rescue” of 2949
Our reputation for “alternative business practices” was solidified during the famous Cargo “Rescue” of 2949, where we selflessly relieved a convoy of the burden of their extremely heavy cargo. The convoy captains were so grateful, they even organized a multi-system chase to thank us!
Corporate Evolution
- 2950: Established our first “legitimate” front business – “Nothing to Declare Trading Co.”
- 2951: Expanded into “protective services” (It would be a shame if something happened to your ship…)
- 2952: Opened our “Pre-Owned Goods Acquisition Department” (No questions asked)
- 2953: Started our “Creative Navigation Solutions” division (Specializing in shortcuts through other people’s property)
Fun Fact: We’ve been audited 47 times by various authorities. Somehow, all the paperwork mysteriously disappeared. Every. Single. Time.
Our Mission Statement
“To boldly take what no one has taken before” – Captain “Honest” Jack Spaceworth, while definitely not hiding in an asteroid field
Today, the Black Hole Banditz proudly continues its tradition of “alternative commerce” across the galaxy, maintaining a strict policy of “flexible ethics” and “negotiable morality.” We’re not pirates – we’re just differently legitimate!
Manifesto
Page Under Construction. Please check back soon!
Charter
Article I: Membership Eligibility
The Black Hole Banditz welcomes all individuals who demonstrate:
- A flexible understanding of ownership concepts
- Creative problem-solving abilities in cargo acquisition
- Proficiency in “surprise trade negotiations”
- Ability to maintain selective amnesia regarding past operations
Article II: Operational Guidelines
All members shall:
- Maintain plausible deniability at all times
- Contribute to the collective wealth redistribution efforts
- Support fellow Banditz during “alternative business ventures”
- Avoid using the term “piracy” in official documentation
Article III: Code of Conduct
We operate under the principle that everything in space is potentially negotiable, especially cargo ownership.
Members must adhere to:
- Creative interpretation of space law
- Strategic application of “protection services”
- Flexible loyalty to fellow members (profit-dependent)
- Maintaining our reputation as “legitimate businesspeople”
Article IV: Benefits
Members receive:
- Access to lucrative “business opportunities”
- Share in collective “acquisitions”
- Network of similarly minded entrepreneurs
- Optional moral compass recalibration services
By accepting membership, you acknowledge that all activities are purely coincidental and any resemblance to actual space piracy is unintentional.
