2 members
The Hot Tub Club / HOTTUBCLUB
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Exploration
Welcome all! This organization is for all who follow the Hot Tub way of life. Whether you own a Constellation Phoenix or an 890 Jump, you are welcome here. Discuss the beauty of the Hot Tub, enjoy Hot Tub parties and sing their glory to the cold, unwashed heretics! All glory to the Hot Tub!
History
Genesis
Our story begins in 2816 with Jack Uzzi, a man of fortune and a veteran entrepreneur who came to Ergo seeking oil. Believing that there were still pockets of oil unclaimed by the corporations, Jack set out for Ergo with a cargo hold full of drilling equipment and a hopeful heart.
However, after months of failure, his hope began to disappear. His drones had returned the same scan results for weeks: No Oil Detected. On the day he was to leave the planet, he decided to run one last scan.
What he found that day was not oil, but rather an unusual heat signature coming from the ocean’s floor. Trusting his gut, he send down a drilling probe and started drilling. When he awoke the next morning he was surprised by an unusual sight.
The ocean was bubbling.
Consulting his probes, he realized that he had accidentally re-opened an ancient hydro-thermal vent, several orders of magnitude larger than those on Terra.
The heated water, he discovered, was just the right temperature.
Revelation
Within six months, Jack had transformed a small patch of bubbling ocean into an exclusive resort.
And so, The Hot Tub Club was born.
Sadly, after several decades of bathing excellence, the vent closed once more.
Ascension
However, Jack did not despair. Instead, he looked up, and dreamt of a Verse filled with Hot Tubs.
I, Guardian271, have been chosen to continue this grand dream. With your help, we can bring the beauty and excellence of the Hot Tub to the Verse.
Come and join me, on a journey to unite Man and Steam!
Manifesto
Important Information
Founder: Jack Uzzi
Founded: 2816 (129 years old)
Home system: Nemo
Home planet: Ergo
Headquarters: “Therma” Origin Systems 890 Jump
Flagship: “The Steam Queen” Constellation Phoenix
Mission
From the Roman baths to the Japanese onsen, bathing in heated water has been a staple part of our day to day lives for millennia.
However, since we began exploring the Galaxy, this facet of our lives has become regulated to a joyless, daily necessity.
I am here to tell you that this way of thinking is wrong.
There is still a place for luxury, for pampering, for bathing.
For Hot Tubs.
Our mission is simple: protect the Hot Tub way of life. Educate the Unwashed. Bring warmth and cleanliness to the Galaxy.
Whether you bathe in a Constellation Phoenix, the 890 Jump or merely dream of doing so, The Hot Tub Club is for you!
Colours
Red: For the Heat that Warms Us
White: For the Cleanliness of the Washed
Conflict
In times of strife, do not falter. Simply chant The Hot Tub Club battle cry and feel the warmth flow through you!
“Wash! Wash! Wash Them Clean!”
“Scrub! Scrub! Scrub Them Clean!”
“Boil! Boil! BOIL THEM CLEAN!”
Charter
Rules
As with any organization, The Hot Tub Club has several rules. These were first laid down by Jack Uzzi in 2817 and have remained relatively unchanged throughout our esteamed history.
1. Shower before entering the Hot Tub
2. No swimming at least an hour after eating
3. A swimsuit is required at all times
General Guidelines
Along with these core tenets, we have several guidelines to create a conductive bathing atmosphere.
1. If you spot a fellow member having difficulty, either in the Hot Tub or out in the Verse, try and lend a hand.
2. If you are approached by an Unwashed who is interested in joining our esteamed group, allow him to soak in your Hot Tub so that his eyes and pores may be opened.
3. If a fellow member desires a Hot Tub of their own, try and donate a few UEC so that they might be cleansed in the privacy of their own ship.
4. If you are participating in a Hot Tub party, keep in mind that before the Hot Tub, all are equal.
5. If you come across one who denounces the Hot Tub, do not dirty your hands, simply turn your ship around and let the Verse deal with their filthy, unwashed body.
Ranks
In order to increase your rank within The Hot Tub Club, several requirements must be met.
To go from Rank Zero (Unwashed) to Rank One (Bathing Enthusiast), you must bathe in a Hot Tub (either your own or a friend’s) in the presence of a Rank One or greater member.
To go from Rank One (Bathing Enthusiast) to Rank Two (Jet Lover), you must attend at least one Hot Tub Party in the presence of a Rank Two or greater member.
To go from Rank Two (Jet Lover) to Rank Three (Steamer), you must host your own Hot Tub Party in the presence of a Rank Three or greater member.
For Rank Four (He of Wrinkled Skin), an invitation is required. This rank is for staff and carries a great deal of responsibility.
For all increases in Rank, the member who witnessed you must report the event on the comm channel or group chat. Expect a short delay while the event is verified and your Rank is updated.
That’s it! Stay warm, stay clean, and stay safe out there!
