Licensed Euphoria Sellers / LESBIANS

In The Beginning

No, of course we aren’t going that far back. But we do have to tell you how we got started to explain where we’re at today. Licensed Euphoria Sellers started as a meager office in the back end of a dilapidated building on Terra. Originally, our job was to fill out paperwork to process other Organizations that were starting up and whether or not they qualified for Non-Profit status. While many wished to enjoy this benefit, few legitimately qualified, as most were profit driven.

However, some Organizations did indeed qualify. Their altruistic aspirations were seen as a boon by the UEE, and as such, we were tasked with filing their taxes to make sure they stayed a true “Non-Profit.” What we noticed, is that after a time, none of the ones who qualified, stayed that way. This issue was brought up with the UEE, who basically handwaved it and said to handle it.

So We Did

We handled it by enrolling ourselves as a Non-Profit Syndicate, and decided that in order to stay Non-Profit, we would justify our expenses appropriately. Too much profit? No such thing, we’ve just seen an increase in the Cost-of-Living of our members. Can’t justify expenses? Nonsense, we write the tax code, of course we can justify it.

Now there is one Non-Profit Organization in the ‘Verse, us. And while we openly admit this, the UEE is simply uninterested in doing anything about it, so, we aren’t exactly worried about admitting it. Even if we were shut down, they’d have to basically fire all of us, rewrite the entire tax code from scratch, train a whole new group to do our job, and even then, it’d be pointless because they’d just do what we did.

The Year Is Now 2955

So where are we now? Now, we’re the only “Non-Profit” Organization in existence, which basically means we make a lot of money and pay no taxes on it. Since we’re the only one, as we hold the key to others being granted the same, the agreement is simple: The UEE will look the other way, and in exchange, nobody else gets to do this, or we get blamed. Simple right?

As we say with our Union Rep, “We’re so glad you see things our way, the LESBIANS way!”