Welcome to Min Co. LLC! “Maximum Output, MIN-imal Input.”
We are a MIN-imalist company, specialising in resource MIN-agement, MIN-ing and Bounty MIN-ting.
MIN-imal Destruction of Private Property “We promise” – Min Co. LLC is NOT responsible for any alleged losses caused by our company.
The following is an incomplete entry from Galactapedia;
Min Co. LLC Is a small Australian/Oceania based Org, and a Merry Band of Dipshits. All are Welcome. So long as you’re not being a deliberate asshat, you’ve got a place to stay. Good luck, Have fun, keep your mates close by and remember; We’re not Pirates, Don’t be an Shit C*nt.
“We’re a bunch of idiots, so dysfunctional we’re functionally dysfunctional.” – REDACTED, the day of MIN CO LLC inception.
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Min Co. LLC was founded in 2949 by a group of ‘friends’ consisting of two former military pilots, a pathfinder, a wannabe Spanish conquistador contactor (deranged) and a drunk semi ex-pirate.
In its formative years the company initially operated out of the CEO’s Mercury Star Runner before later transferring to an ANVIL Liberator. The Company currently resides out of Sanctuary on the moon of REDACTED in the REDACTED System.
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The first years of Min Co. were quiet but expansive years, as the founders grew their company from humble beginnings into the small burgeoning bounty hunting, resource power it once was.
In late 2952, Min Co’s growth and reputation were shattered due to an immense falling with their contractor, Hurston Dynamics duped Min Co. into a ‘red herring mission’. Hurston Dynamics proceeded to sell them out to the UEE, washing their hands clean and dumping all blame for Hurston Dynamics crimes and malpractice upon Min Co, as well as accusations of corporate espionage, treason and piracy, and various other crimes.
Min Co’s last mission for Hurston was to go to HDMS Bezdek on Arial to recapture the security outpost from ‘rebel secessionists’ who took over the outpost. The company fought through the outpost, withstanding withering fire and losing two of their own in the process. Unfortunately for the company they found out that it was a setup upon clearing the outpost. The CEO (After learning of the betrayal) flew in a rage before vowing to “Destroy Hurston even if it’s the last thing I do!”.
All Employees of Min Co. Were all given the maximum level Criminal Status upon leaving Arial, forcing them to go on the run. The few assets Min Co. Had were seized and left the company financially and socially ruined and lead the company down the path of moral semi-ambiguity. This forced the company to disgustedly work with pirates and outlaws in stark contradiction to their morals in order to survive, Initially operating out of Grim Hex (Read: Green Imperial Housing Exchange) The company decided to get back at Hurston Dynamics, and Gavin Hurston specifically.
This decision lead to the kidnapping of Mr Hurston and a few of his board members enroute to the Terra System for a business deal in early 2953. Mr Hurston was captured and ‘Had a little talk with’ (See: Beaten Bloody) by Min Co. Board members for destroying their lives, reputations, livelihoods and forcing them into borderline piracy. Min Co. CEO REDACTED Almost Killed his Hurston counterpart, but was stopped ironically by the currently sober, Semi-Ex Pirate REDACTED.
Min Co. sabotaged Mr Hurston’s engines and reactor and turned on the ships emergency beacon before telling Mr Hurston “Be grateful for what little life you have left.” before gathering the remnants of his company and fleeing the system to lick their wounds, before Hurston Security or the UEE Navy arrived on scene.
Min Co. Has since hidden in the shadows, Rebranding with a new Name, Charter, “Manifesto” and new aliases for its members. Min Co. has dedicated itself to the development of the REDACTED System and stands vigil against pirates, aliens, and all who threaten (Hurston Dynamics) the people and resources of REDACTED. We at Min Co. will always fight for the freedom, democracy and the innocent, and we are always ready to negotiate. Except to Terrorists, Pirates and Hurston. F**k you Hurston.
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- Management would like to dispel any rumours of Min Co. being headquartered in the REDACTED System, and are baseless and destructive to
corporate morale and our very lives.
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- Some members under investigation for alleged: General Tomfoolery, Being a public nuisance, Public indecency, Public intoxication, Infidelity, Corporate Espionage, Destruction of Public and Private Property, Tax evasion, Theft, Trespassing, Torture, Treason, Domestic Terrorism, Manslaughter, Assassination, Drug running, Illicit Organ harvesting and trafficking, Disruption of military operation(s), Unlawful Salvaging, Unlawful Mining, Kidnapping, Prostitution, Money Laundering, Illegal Eugenics in vein attempt to create the perfect “cat-girl”, Jaywalking, Interstellar space Jaywalking, The “Min Incident”, Attempted Ant based Genocide, Criminally bad humour.
“A manifesto? We don’t really have one do we? I mean, our income is illicit in origi- I I mean LEGAL in origin, We follow the laws and shit.. The Dead don’t have rights to their property do they?” – Legally Anonymous Shareholder.
“Yes, Hello! I like money!” – Mr Krabs.
“If its on the internet, it MUST be true” – Various
“NUH-UH!” – Various upon losing an argument.
“I’m not a gunman dad, I’m an Assassin. The difference is ones a job and the others mental sickness” – Pyro
“It ran when it was parked” – Sun Tsu
“Are we there yet?” – Winston Churchill
“Finders Keepers” – Julius Caesar
“No Flag, No Country” – King George V
“Start ya bastard” – Ancient Australian Proverb
“Ow! That hurt my feelings! Oh my god I have feelings!? I’m a real boy!” – Glibnub
“What Else do we put in here? We need something that represents us as dipshits.” – CEO ‘Zeblackbaron’
“What goes on in the Outer Rim, stays in the Outer Rim. Much like what happens in your mothers bed chambers” – Board Director REDACTED to Gavin E Hurston after being ‘Shanghai’d’.
- Don’t Kill without Justifiable Cause.
- “A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.” – Uncle Bob
- It’s not Theft if its Abandoned.
- First come, First served. (Remember to file a claim to make sure it stays yours).
- There is a reason we are a LIMITED LIABAILITY company. You get into big enough trouble and this shit is on you.
- Don’t eat Yellow Snow. (Failure to comply will result in death by Garbage Compactor).
- Have Fun! But not too much fun, Don’t steal all the fun for yourself you greedy bastard!
- Don’t be a Shit Cunt.