Stupid Idiots / SILLC

Long ago, in a distant corner of the universe, beyond the civilized star systems of the Galactic Council, there existed a planet called Prosperon-5. It was a place of unimaginable riches, where rivers shimmered with liquid gold, and the mountains stood tall with veins of pure diamond. But despite these vast resources, the beings who inhabited Prosperon-5—known as the Stupid Idiots—were never satisfied. Their insatiable hunger for wealth defined every aspect of their existence.

The Stupid Idiots were not an intelligent species by traditional measures. They weren’t known for scientific breakthroughs, artistic achievements, or even basic common sense. But they did know one thing better than anyone else: how to exploit, deceive, and hoard every possible credit, coin, or cosmic transaction that came their way.

The Great Galactic Con
As their greed grew, the Stupid Idiots set their sights beyond their home planet. They built crude, rickety spaceships (funded by sketchy crowdfunding campaigns and multi-level marketing schemes) and set off to exploit the riches of the universe.

Their first stop? The peaceful utopian world of Zenith-7, where an advanced civilization had eliminated the need for money altogether. The Stupid Idiots saw this as the ultimate opportunity. They introduced a concept previously unknown to the Zenitheans—debt. Within a decade, every citizen of Zenith-7 was trapped in a cycle of credit scores, loan repayments, and an artificial scarcity created by the Stupid Idiots. The once-free society was now enslaved by their own need to buy back what had once been free.

The Corporate Wars of Nebula Prime
With their pockets full, the Stupid Idiots turned their attention to Nebula Prime, a planet rich in natural energy sources. Instead of fairly trading resources, they devised a new strategy—overcomplication. They created convoluted legal documents, forged artificial monopolies, and invented a currency so volatile it fluctuated in value based on the mood swings of a single CEO. Wars were fought not with weapons, but with corporate mergers and buyouts, as the Stupid Idiots played both sides, ensuring that no matter who won, they got paid.

The Fall of the Stupid Idiots
Despite their endless pursuit of wealth, the Stupid Idiots made one fatal miscalculation. They were so obsessed with hoarding money that they forgot to actually use it. By the time they controlled half the known universe, they realized they had nothing to spend it on. Every planet had been stripped of resources, every civilization buried under debt, and no one was left to produce anything of actual value.

With no more wealth to chase, the Stupid Idiots turned on each other, forming rival factions that spent their remaining years in pointless lawsuits, tax fraud scandals, and hostile corporate takeovers of companies that didn’t even exist.

In the end, their civilization collapsed under the weight of its own greed. The last surviving Stupid Idiot, CEO Lord Cashington XLII, was found clutching a mountain of useless currency, whispering his final words:

“But… but I was supposed to be… RICH!”

And thus, the Stupid Idiots vanished from the universe, leaving behind nothing but empty bank vaults, abandoned stock markets, and cautionary tales of unchecked greed.

Epilogue
Legends say that remnants of the Stupid Idiots still exist, lurking in corporate boardrooms, stock markets, and intergalactic scam networks. Some even whisper that they are hiding among us today, disguised as executives, hedge fund managers, and interplanetary influencers.

So, if you ever receive a suspicious investment offer from a shadowy figure in a pinstripe spacesuit, beware—the spirit of the Stupid Idiots lives on.